on religion...

i was (& still am) at the 'foreplay stage' of reading a book Dialogues: At One Inch Above the Ground by James W. Heisig when i feel the urge to write about religion & spirituality, subjects which i am very much enthusiastic to discuss & debate upon especially with my mom (which by the way i just had an argument with her a few moments before writing this).

i was born & raised as a catholic, groomed to follow a heritage of priests in the family. in fact, when i graduated from high school i was awarded acolyte of the year & was headed for the seminary for college. apparently, priesthood wasn't my vocation, nor was becoming a catholic for the rest of my life.

when i entered the university, let's say i was 'enlightened' & thus my search for spiritual growth began.

sophomore year, the period when a lot of things happened in my life. my son was born, i stopped doing drugs (for a while), & i stopped going to church, even doing the sign of the cross. it was a dynamic year of internal psycho-emotional flux.

i begin to question faith, religion, & the entire institution we thrive in. i became interested in other religions in order to satisfy my longing for the idea they call GOD. the only good thing about the constant flux of opposing ideas raging in my thoughts is that never in my entire existence i lost my belief in the Supreme Consciousness.

there came a time when i wanted to convert into Islam but eventually became discouraged because of the fact that the teachings in Qur'an are contradictory to each other (same is true with the Christian Bible). & one very interesting point to be noted in the passages in Qur'an is the fact that it justifies the use of force towards non-believers,& the minority role of women in the society.

with the frustration i've encountered with Islam i came back to the aid of catholicism, but again it failed me. the dark history of the church i.e. crusades & inquisition, vatican scandals scarred it badly that no matter how i try to paint it out of the picture the stains will always be there. i cannot lie to myself.

for months i became a drifter, a wanderer in the endless desert of emptiness. i browsed from one book after another in the hopes of finding a religion that would satisfy me. i went thought the core teachings of each & every religions of east & west e.g. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, the Eastern Orthodox Church, & other sects of Christianity, only to come up with a concrete conclusion: every one of them believe in the existence of GOD.

therefore i said to myself, why am i in constant search for a religion to follow when they all believe in the same thing? dogmas & doctrines are nothing but practices that distinguish one from the other, same as the name they call GOD.

although my spiritual life is far from maturity, being vegetarian & following tantra yoga practices is a head start for my spiritual revolution.i remain confident that i have made the right choice not to follow a certain belief system, & continue my journey to self-realization alongside with doing service to humanity.

i really find it funny watching tv evangelists mudslinging, throwing curses against each other in order to prove whose religion is true & whose is false. i also find it annoying when people try to persuade me to become a follower of their faith using dogma as a tool for preaching. and i really hate it when people discriminate others on religious grounds (i must say my mom is guilty of that when she reprimands me on my spiritual practice).

therefore i ask myself, why am i in constant search for a religion to follow, when every one of them believes in one thing? why must i practice a specific religion when i can follow the basic teaching of charity, compassion, & love without dogmas & doctrines?

instead of becoming a unifying force, religion caused (& is still causing) conflicts & the division of humanity.

wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a world where everyone can practice his or her chosen path towards righteousness?

imagine.