poetinhybernation

In Memory of Freedom

2011-10-01T09:16:00.001-07:00

And so the light fades as the dark set in

Flashes of remnant musings of ages fill the

Senses of a life never lived

As one lies down on a concrete pavement

Cold and hard and barren, he

Thinks of the meal he might have eaten, or

Clothes wrapping his

Nakedness, oblivious to the elements

And in the absence of the simplest

Decency, one wonders why

Many are born only to suffer

It is not the scarcity or the

Laws of nature that

Imprison the

Dispossessed and oppress the

Exploited, kneeding them to kingdom come

But the desire for excess and power. To

Corrupt the juice of

Freedom

And there he lays half-dead, in

Silence.

Insurrection

2011-10-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

The time is ripe and the dawn has broken, when the people rise up against the system that oppressed them for so long a time there is nowhere to run but against the Wall. Street is where the war is happening, where voices instead of bullets, and guerrillas in all shapes and forms stand up against corporate oligarchy and elitist-plutocratic-mythical corporate capitalism. It is but fitting for Us, the suffering majority, to take back the power that for so long been deprived, taken, denied, murdered, amputated from the depths of our soul. It is Time to say We are Free! And as free people we shall take our lives back. Enough is enough. We have been oppressed, exploited, abused in more ways than one, blinded, coerced, and lied to, and so they thought that we cannot rise up from our misery. They are Wrong. And so they tremble, as we gather in strength and number, without fear because for so long they have taken every bit of what and who we are that we have nothing to lose. No home, no education, no clean water, no food, no shelter, no clothing, no healthcare, no job. And so they thought that there army of brutes dressed in camou's and plain clothes, pawns at their disposal, can strike us with fear through arrest, harassment, assassination, blackmail. They are Wrong! All we have left is Our Voice, and we will stand by it. Because when a free man and woman and child has nothing left, their voice will be their life, their soul, their shield. We are Free, and shall Fight in Peace as this Declaration of Freedom has granted the citizenry of this planet. Victory will be Ours.

America : The Disillusioned Union

2010-09-13T03:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this article as a reflection on the American Gov't' s foreign, economic, social, and political policies. Not against the citizens of the state.

' The American Dream '. Perhaps one of the most common phrases in our collective vocabulary as a colonized nation. We aspire to be Americans ; ' I want to go to America, the land of opportunities, ' or ' The land of the free and the home of the brave. ' Free my ass! Let me spit some truth about the ' strongest nation ' on the planet.

American foreign policy is all about exploitation. American companies outsource there production to countries with very loose ( or in most cases non-existing ) labor laws that allow them room to commit every human rights violation possible. Take for example Nike, who's biggest production facilities are in China. They hire female workers because they cost less, pay them less than a dollar a day, and if they reach 25 or get pregnant they get a pink slip without benefits. So next time you use a Nike product be very thankful ( or mournful ) to the ones who made your shoes.

The Iraq and Afghan wars are not wars against terrorism nor freedom, but a gangbang and invasion of the remaining known oil deposits. America is in the brink of collapse since all it's industries is solely relying on petroleum. The absence of oil will bring the union down on its knees. And I begin to wonder why such a rich country will not invest in finding alternative energy sources such as solar energy. The reason, capitalism. Because they haven't yet found a way to put a meter for the sun.

The democracy that we know as the USA is not really a democracy, but a plutonomy. A plutonomy is a state wherein there is massive income and wealth inequalities. There is only the rich, and everyone else. In the US, 1% of the household holds more than half of the nation's stocks, while 90% are either poor or barely getting along.

America maybe seen as a rich nation, yet it is the country with the biggest debt. More than 40% of Treasury debt is owned by foreign firms. No country on history has ever reached this humiliating crisis. And yet we become happy when we're given green bucks.

Truth is, the US note is no more than a piece of ass wipe. It is a currency, which means it is no longer backed by gold. Since 1971, the US dollar ceased to become ' money '. So when you feel like shitting and you want a wipe, ask for a Benjamin.

Ah, the founding fathers of the great nation. I can't fathom their reaction if they'll see what has become of their brainchild. I bet they'd be very pissed off and point a dirty finger on the White House ( I can only imagine Washington doing a finger ). And who would not be? When all that is written on the constitution are violated on every possible angle to give way for profit and exploitation. Where people are denied health care benefits, social security, and are living on low-income wages.

The US has no socialized healthcare, social security has been cut until retirees are forced to move out of their houses and find a job, airline pilots get a second job as waiters and garbage collectors ( while some go on food stamps ), and military functions such as intellegence and weapons development are granted to private contractors.

Truth is, it is not only the Third World who is being screwed by US policies, but they are buttf*cking their citizens as well. Politicians and corporations manage to manipulate Capitol Hill to ensure that their ' lawlessness ' become ' lawful '.

Funny thing is, more and more people believe in America. After all, years of Mickey Mouse, Hollywood, and Mtv have brainwashed us into submission. We are more than willing to give 'em head for a bite of Spam. ' The American Dream ' has become a religion.

However, if in any case you are reading this and you feel a strong sentiment about going to America, i have a piece of advice ; bring a life vest and group yourselves into three, for USS Americana is sinking ... fast.

Drifter

2010-09-13T03:07:00.000-07:00

And now you’re gone
Gone away from my embrace
And I carry on
In lonely solace
Ever longing

What has become
It all seemed true and now I lost you
You were my home
And now I am drifting
Endless wandering

You were my life
The dream’s reality
In this rapid fall
I can’t hold on to your memory

All is black
Whispering echoes begging to come back
In absolution
You’re lips
They keep haunting me

And now I’m spent
Holding on to musings
Bits and pieces of
Music we once shared

ignorance is never bliss

2009-05-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

for war is not the opposite of peace
nor love is that of hate
fear lingers to those who wage violence
and indifference their weapon

toy is what a gun to a child
an arsenal of greed to a fascist
power consumes and corrupts
hate blinds not by darkness but light

youth stolen to fight wars not their own
selfish are they who send their sons
and daughters to battle
while they drink martini with their concubines

we are but fools on a string
preyed and played
we are but papers yet to be written
for widows of soldiers who had fallen

ignorance is never bliss
for innocence that is
how long shall children suffer?
how long shall mother's grieve?

speak to me of peace

2009-05-05T20:43:00.001-07:00

speak to me of peace
when the peasants no longer till the soil of feudalism
and the produce of the land be divided amongst the people

speak to me of peace
when the dungeons are empty
and the silent cries of the prisoners are but echoes too deafening to remember

speak to me of peace
when the mothers no longer weep for their lost sons
and children may no longer be seen bearing arms and not books and pens

speak to me of peace
when religion is no longer synonymous to conflict
and that the name of God is used in worship and not in battle cries

speak to me of peace
when families are no longer coerced to leave their homes and settle in cardboard shanties
and live under the naked skies through scorching heat and blistering cold

speak to me of peace
when fathers will no longer steal and kill
and die only to bring food to the tables

speak to me of peace
when life is no longer about taking but giving
and the human experience is as sweet as the candy cane on a toddler's hand

speak to me of peace
when spirits roam free
and the thoughts can fly like helium-filled balloons on a sunday skyline

speak to me of peace
when we can already speak our minds
and will not be silenced by a thunderous trigger

speak to me of peace
when war is no longer part of our vocabulary
and that peace is no longer a mere state of mind or an ideal but a reality.

2009-05-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

wars waging, guns are firing, ideas are crashing like comets come raining
you hear the cries of the innocent and the shouts of the insolent
a never ending calamity barrage of senseless atrocity

city after city they bomb, town after town they rob
out the oppressed and the oppressor coming in
suffering populace longing for God's embrace

why has gone cold? why has evil gone bold?
people of the world never grow old
children are dying with their stories untold

they say it's revenge they are after
a tooth for a tooth is their battle cry clamor
but they did not realize they have lost their mind
an eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind

peace is not an unreachable ideal to be wept
peace is the goal the treasure that be kept
the love for humanity should what remain
all that spirits desire, spirits attain.

untitled pa ni...

2009-05-04T04:08:00.000-07:00

we live in the dark ages of wars and oppression
thriving in the shadows of blatant exploitation
walking down the road of total damnation
i call Jah now please lead my people to redemption

two days ago i came across three children
hungry and thirsty carrying heavy burden
they say, mr we haven't eaten for days on end
i say, come in to my house i might have some spare that your hunger may mend

then i realized how humanity has become
society of beasts of monsters preying on some
we have lost the divinity that Jah has blessed us
what has been left is the cruelty and the ideals of rottenness

i call on Jah people to kneel and repent
this is not how we should lived this is not what love meant
life is about compassion and charity
let's embrace one another and transform our society

Jah bless us all

alay sa perlas ng silangan

2009-05-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

sa paglubog ng araw ay siyang pagmulat ng mundo
sa katotohanan na ang buhay ay siyang mapaglaro
marami ang nagtitiis nagpapasarap ang iilan
kokonti ang kumakain ang iba ay kumakalam ang tiyan

sa ilalim ng hubad na ulap may mga sumisilong
at sa apat na sulok ng palasyo ay may mandarambong
ang piping iyak ng dukha ay dinig ng malaya
ngunit pilit kinukubli ng mayamang mapag-alipusta

ang katarungang mithi ng bayang bigo
ang kapayapaang hangad ng batang sundalo
ang kaginhawaang hingi ng inang nawalan
ang katotohanang alay sa perlas ng silangan

at sa bawat pagbangon ng paslit sa lansangan
pantawid gutom agad ang nasa kanyang isipan
habang ang nasa kapangyarihan ay nagbibilang
kung magkano ang nanakawin sa kaban ng bayan

Enough is Enough!

2009-02-02T02:39:00.000-08:00

We live in a world of fantasy. Do you believe that?

We live in world of fantasy basically because our society is run and operated under the impression of a myth; a myth known as money.
In a world of corporate globalization, we have become a bunch of crazy entities thriving in a world where everything has a price, and yet we don't say anything about it. We are fools who let ourselves become enslaved by a piece of paper or a bar of metal or a shiny stone.

We are hypocrites who even tag ourselves, rate how much an object is; and worst, tag how much life is. Human existence is based on how much revenue you can come up with. Material satisfaction has become the most important goal of the human experience.
Our world right now is under corporate control, ruled by individuals enslaved by greed. They are a few minority who exploit the resources, may it be natural or human power. Society has become a puppet show wherein people are bred for profit, not for purpose. Human life is synonymous to greed.

The fate of the earth is determined by the superpowers whose only interest is to gain more out of other’s suffering. They paint a façade of programs with sweet terms like free-trade, with bitter policies embedded to make poverty-stricken countries bleed to dry. These superpowers see the planet as a commodity, a money-making machine and not a home.

In order to change all of these, let us stand firm in proclaiming that our planet is not for sale, we are not for sale.
In our country malls sprung out like mushrooms on a cow's dung. If you look at these malls in a rather peculiar perspective, it is like a big monster with its mouth wide open while his preys are coming in voluntarily without knowledge that they are about to be devoured .

I remember reading an article about the labor atrocities in factories of Nike where employees are underpaid, overworked, and commonly face verbal and even physical abuse. And by continuing to buy their products, we too are guilty in committing these horrible crimes.

It will take decades before humanity can truly realize where our civilization has taken us. We are surrounded by injustices and yet we choose to be blind. The machine has been successful in controlling our lives.
In order to stop the madness of the corporate junkies, we should start by not patronizing their products. And the only way to do that is buy nothing, right?

And when we do, they will realize that not everyone is stupid enough to be manipulated. And we will also realize that life is worth living without buying, because in the first place, our resources are free and no one is supposed to take full advantage of the spoils of the majority's labor.
So am I making sense now? Or you're just playing stupid because all you care about is saving your allowance to buy an Armani or a Vesrace or a Tommy.

Take a stand now! Resist corporate control! Fight Consumerism!

If you're not for sale, then buy nothing!

The World is Painted Black

2009-01-19T03:59:00.000-08:00

(Aftermath)

He is no deep at all.
He is an asshole
and no more than that.
A bitch of no worth.
Pretentious bitch hiding
beneath is depth,
the depth is only inches
down the cover.
On the surface bulges
of volcanoes lie dormant
but liquefied gold looms
underneath
in a steady rising temperature.
Bitch.
Pretentious bitch.
Go submerge and show
no sign of existence.
Bitch.
A male dog of rainbow feathers
but black and hollow within.
Bitch.
Why have you come back?

You made me believe
you're a bottomless pit.
You're nothing short of a
hole in a backyard.
Bitch.
You planted an unknown vine
within me.
It crept silently
from my veins to my brain
and reached to squeeze
my heart.
You showed the world
what a surreal art you are.
You're nothing more than a
piece of crumpled paper,
dripped with water,
muddy water that is,
because you want to play mystery man,
don't you?
Flashing Mona Lisa smile,
but the edges of your lips
are sharp enough
they could cut hearts in two,
or three, or four,
depending on how many
polar bears reveal when
you smile.
Bitch.
Pretentious bitch.

happy thoughts mode

2008-12-28T09:41:00.000-08:00

the deafening emptiness

of the echoing dark abyss
of unfathomable depth of trench-like chasms
between reality and fantasy and
the daydreaming state of a mystic turned
suicidal maniac albeit converted
staring and smiling into space; the stupidity
of his gesture though odd to others
is to himself amusing yet unknown
if not to the frequent reproach of
friends and adversaries alike
yet in this peculiarity the mystic turned
suicidal maniac albeit convert finds bliss
and thus continue his staring and smiling
into space leaping
between fantasy and reality and his daydreaming.

bored

2008-11-06T02:30:00.000-08:00

i have always admitted, sometimes to a point of being annoying that i am really f*cking bored. it's as if life has nothing more to offer but pain and suffering and frustration and despair etc etc etc.

yet in the absence of excitement i see a little flicker of thrill, in the idea that life ain't life without such negation; that the cliche 'one won't know how sweetness tastes like if one haven't had an encounter with bitterness' has truth in it.

more than a month ago, i made a close contact with the ripper. the scars have healed, yet the pain remains. and i guess that'll be the case for days to come.

when asked why i did it, why did i try to expedite my extinction, i simply say the main reason is boredom. too vague to comprehend? yeah i too haven't got the slightest idea why i'm so f*cking bored.

i spend the last months bumming around the house, watching discovery channel, nat geo, history chanell, etc. my life was at a standstill, and it still is. i don't know how to start all over again. ironically, i remain optmistic. crazy.

i maybe ruined, beyond repair, but i keep hanging on.

& i'm f*cking loving boredom.

Day 3

2008-11-06T02:19:00.001-08:00

Sporadic islets exist

almost invisible on the face

on the black seas.

This time many have withdrawn

from the battle in the funeral march,

but the golden spark

was still there,

unwilling to surrender,

glowing brightly as if to say

its energy will never exhaust.

The plague

has a venomous tongue.

By the end of this ordeal

the world is painted black no more.

Will see it no more.

Will see them no more.

I'll be on my own and the

blackness will stand

witness to my solitude.

There will be pulling down

of silver string

no more,

nor rolling up of the curtain

of creamed snow.

There will be no more blackness

to cloak my world

but my future will be

equally dim.

Soon I will miss the

golden dewdrops

and tears of neon blue.

The funeral march will go on

for as long as this tomb

is cold - with or without

the world painted in black.

The sapling may never grow

because you keep the sun

behind your gloom,

the nimbus, your shadow.

But I'll miss you, too,

because you are coming back

no more.

I hope you are coming back

no more.

This will be the last glimpse

to blackness

as it fades to many

different shades

of green like emerald

and turquoise beyond.

Suddenly a familiar face

appeared from nowhere...

Why have you come back?

-Toto

The World is Painted Black

2008-08-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

(Day 2)

By dawn angry heavens poured

on the world painted black.

As I pulled down

the silver string and rolled

up the creamed snow curtain,

there on the borderline,

they splatter.

Golden dewdrops and tears of neon blue

fight to be one with my world.

The funeral march

still goes on.

Fiercely, sharply

cutting my flesh into

strips of fragile woods,

burnt into ashes,

slowly fading into gray,

echoing night into day.

The world painted in black

only stood witness to the grave.

-Toto

The World is Painted Black

2008-07-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

(Day 1)

I pulled down the silver string,
Rolled up the curtain of creamed snow.
Before me
the world is painted black.
At the corner of my eye
there was the golden spark,
But the victory or death tonight
vanished the glow in the dark.

The generosity of this truth
hasn't been this paramount,
this sharp,
Cutting my sorrow in million pieces.
Will my hope ever reunite?
As I lie down thinking
about the sapling:
Why wouldn't he let it grow?
Let it grow.
Please let it grow.

Third day backwards,
third limbo above Earth,
in a funeral march
I was weeping,though,
for someone who wasn't there.
Pearls without color -
my eyes were too familiar of them,
and so was the world
painted in black.

Needless to say
the funeral march went on.
In a tomb cold as death
I was there.
The tomb - there was no
hint of blackness,
and no sign of corpse,
but I wish I was dead.

- Toto

COMFORT OF AN ENEMY

2008-07-19T07:03:00.000-07:00

This casket
is larger than a
shoebox
with walls of stained
sheepskin;
is so much like me,
either a friend
or an enemy...
I notice
for over a year now

I'm not dead
but inside this casket
i live
moving around
basked with independence
and solitude
in other words,
I am a
prisoner.

Today
this casket is a friend
though the world
outside is
so much of an enemy
in a way
I so much like,
in a way
the bullets fires
and explotion
of bombs
are music to my ears
when they hit
the solid ground..

inside my cell
I am safe
in my usual corner
I will succumb
to the demand of
my deteriorating strength...
to the comfort of my grave.

- Toto

2008-07-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

The Tower

2008-07-07T09:12:00.001-07:00

this is a poem by MarkN originally posted as a comment to one of my blogs.

In every Church, a Sinner.
Every God, a Fascist.
Every Priest, a Pedophile,
& every Saint is a Terrorist.
For every Prayer is Guilt.

Masses of Hypocrisy,
Devotion to Ignorance,
Culture of Genocide,
Lust for Oppression,
Undying Faith in Slavery
Is Life not Free?

An Orgasm to every Pig in Funeral,
As would a Whore to a Nun
& a Crucifix for every Injustice
That they have done.

An Empire of Greed
with an Institution for Hunger,
Monopoly on Abuse ,
& Charity on Compassion.

Another Religion,
Another War.
Another Victim falls to the Ground.

Another Slave,
to Fall its Knees on the Floor
with a Grenade on one Hand,
The enemy’s Cock on the other.

Bullets to Separate Borders,
Rivers that divide Mountains,
Wombs to give birth for Corpses
Cries of Unrestrained Anger,

from Below..
Underneath..
From 6 Feet Under..
To Walk the shattered glass on the Concrete

A Hammer to SMASH it's Symbol of Power,
& Angels to Dance on the Ruins..

-unitedbychaos@yahoo.com

rain

2008-01-27T03:16:00.000-08:00

i've had this poem for quite a while but failed to share it with you. i always made sure that all my works be shared as soon as i finish making them and i deeply apologize for the delay. hope you'll forgive me on my shortcoming.

it sliced through the air
as it tears through the heart
brings forth the memories
of sudden depart
and flows like a river
like tears on a face
trying hard to fill
the heart's dry and empty space.

the beat of drums
in the rhythm of sadness
and heaps of light
forcing through the clouds darkness
barely illuminating
a wretched soul
picking up the pieces
of a self once whole.

it travels through rain;
words of undying love
bridging the earth below
and heaven's above.

the nature of humyns

2008-01-11T00:20:00.000-08:00

i wandered through the heavens
in search of redemption
into the vast skylight, in flight
deep into a soulful expedition,
i'm lost.

deep in the darkness of seeming halt,
in uncertain passages
of lightless alleys
of open creeks and chasmic faults,
i venture.

in the vastness of radiance
of joyous incantations in the rhythm so holy
of endless longing to be one
with the entity,
my host.

in every corner of consciousness
of thoughts and wisdom of ages past
through the shadows of history,
of cycles to last,
our nature.

on religion...

2007-12-12T05:47:00.000-08:00

i was (& still am) at the 'foreplay stage' of reading a book Dialogues: At One Inch Above the Ground by James W. Heisig when i feel the urge to write about religion & spirituality, subjects which i am very much enthusiastic to discuss & debate upon especially with my mom (which by the way i just had an argument with her a few moments before writing this).

i was born & raised as a catholic, groomed to follow a heritage of priests in the family. in fact, when i graduated from high school i was awarded acolyte of the year & was headed for the seminary for college. apparently, priesthood wasn't my vocation, nor was becoming a catholic for the rest of my life.

when i entered the university, let's say i was 'enlightened' & thus my search for spiritual growth began.

sophomore year, the period when a lot of things happened in my life. my son was born, i stopped doing drugs (for a while), & i stopped going to church, even doing the sign of the cross. it was a dynamic year of internal psycho-emotional flux.

i begin to question faith, religion, & the entire institution we thrive in. i became interested in other religions in order to satisfy my longing for the idea they call GOD. the only good thing about the constant flux of opposing ideas raging in my thoughts is that never in my entire existence i lost my belief in the Supreme Consciousness.

there came a time when i wanted to convert into Islam but eventually became discouraged because of the fact that the teachings in Qur'an are contradictory to each other (same is true with the Christian Bible). & one very interesting point to be noted in the passages in Qur'an is the fact that it justifies the use of force towards non-believers,& the minority role of women in the society.

with the frustration i've encountered with Islam i came back to the aid of catholicism, but again it failed me. the dark history of the church i.e. crusades & inquisition, vatican scandals scarred it badly that no matter how i try to paint it out of the picture the stains will always be there. i cannot lie to myself.

for months i became a drifter, a wanderer in the endless desert of emptiness. i browsed from one book after another in the hopes of finding a religion that would satisfy me. i went thought the core teachings of each & every religions of east & west e.g. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, the Eastern Orthodox Church, & other sects of Christianity, only to come up with a concrete conclusion: every one of them believe in the existence of GOD.

therefore i said to myself, why am i in constant search for a religion to follow when they all believe in the same thing? dogmas & doctrines are nothing but practices that distinguish one from the other, same as the name they call GOD.

although my spiritual life is far from maturity, being vegetarian & following tantra yoga practices is a head start for my spiritual revolution.i remain confident that i have made the right choice not to follow a certain belief system, & continue my journey to self-realization alongside with doing service to humanity.

i really find it funny watching tv evangelists mudslinging, throwing curses against each other in order to prove whose religion is true & whose is false. i also find it annoying when people try to persuade me to become a follower of their faith using dogma as a tool for preaching. and i really hate it when people discriminate others on religious grounds (i must say my mom is guilty of that when she reprimands me on my spiritual practice).

therefore i ask myself, why am i in constant search for a religion to follow, when every one of them believes in one thing? why must i practice a specific religion when i can follow the basic teaching of charity, compassion, & love without dogmas & doctrines?

instead of becoming a unifying force, religion caused (& is still causing) conflicts & the division of humanity.

wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a world where everyone can practice his or her chosen path towards righteousness?

imagine.

dream catcher

2007-11-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

entangled thread and twisted coil
vision of chaos and turmoil
endless circumnavigation;
journey of mystification.

puzzle to ensnare sensations
webbed prayer constantly binding
reality from illusions;
whispers in flight softly passing.

seek, liberate, love

2007-10-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

to liberate the world, one has to liberate oneself.

break free from inhibitions, dig to the core of your anima, set your soul in a conflagration of desires.

love someone, for the state fears those who love. for love is a weapon far destructive than any bomb in the world's arsenal.

run, lose yourself. turn away from the norms that became the chasm of love and lover. if you are a woman who loves a woman, or a man who loves a man, or a being who loves both, or someone who loves someone, among others, follow the cry of your heart.

love not because of security and stability, but because of the enigma it brings you the moment you find someone who takes your breath away.

the world is cruel, yet it's sweet. it is a concoction of feelings, desires, heartaches, bitterness, suffering, bliss, et cetera, et cetara.

bring down the walls of injustice, the barriers that confine you from illicit longings. be insane!

be weird, if it means being free from the dictates of rottenness.

confront oppression as you confront death; passionately.

seek yourself, the sacrosanct of your existence.

not a story for a lovely morning

2007-10-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

i really don't know what to write about, i just feel like pushing my pen down. i haven't had enough night time sleep the past few days, close to living up to the definition of hominus nocturnus in vampiric tales. but in reality, i'm far from immortality.

i woke up at around 5:00am, thanks to my nagging mother uttering endlessly towards my father. i'm used to her echoing ballad of curses and sermons but not during the wee hours where i'm still struggling to slumber. it really couldn't get better than this.

one thing i really don't like in a woman is a nagging breathhole. haha don't get me wrong here. i love my mother, i even slept beside her the other night because my baby sister's using my room's 'borrowed' pc to finish her research paper (which gave me a hell of a headache to edit and edit and edit). however, if i am to commit, i'd choose someone who doesn't talk like an automatic rifle is stuffed in her mouth firing at 3000 rounds a minute. haha

i rouse myself from my odor-stricken mat and made my way to the fridge, hoping to grab myself a bottle of beer only to find a pitcher of water and a bunch of eggs (not a pretty site for a thirsty fellow). i gulped a couple of glass, head for the john and relieved myself of a deceitful morning glory (hey, i only took a piss and did not do the 'm' word).

as i made my way back to my room, i barely noticed the ceasefire. i was again relieved by the silence of the atmosphere and tucked myself, trying hard again to journey into slumberland.

and then again, a grenade was lunched, followed by a thunderous scream from my mother's bazoo. a maraud of words of unwisdom echoed through the walls, and my journey was cut short.

when is this going to end!?

Anathema!

2007-10-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

I am on the brink of self-termination, all because it seems my life is heading nowhere, a dead-end, a mess. Every night before I retire myself to the state of unconsciousness, I pray that I won’t make it in the morning. I pop a dozen of valium pills to expedite my expiration but I guess my body’s too immune to give in. Probably I’ll utilize cyanide next time.

I lie in my odor-filled chamber reading novels, trying to be productive in my imagining. And in the past months I have read quite a number, which I used to think was very a impossible ‘achievement’ for a fellow of very narrow attention span as myself. And when I ran out of books to burn in my thoughts, I resort to browsing over an ancient Webster and a pocket thesaurus enriching my poverty-stricken vocabulary. In my hunger for words I wrote poetry when boredom strikes. And so I dubbed my poetry, if you consider them as such, ‘products of unproductiveness’, and proclaimed myself a poet in hybernation.

I admit to myself that I am cursed, if not a curse itself, and that in the course of my existence I have made flaws that altered my life beyond regret. If only I could turn back time, a cliché for those who are frustrated, but it runs through my thoughts endlessly.

My former self has become a stranger even to me. It seems like eons since I genuinely felt bliss, and no amount of ice cream or pizza, two of my few vanities if I may put it, can bring me back to my childish nature.

Childish, yes you read it right. I was carefree, like a child in the rain or a bird in flight. I care for nothing except getting my candy to lick. I still play in the rain though, only to cry and pour my sadness out of my system hoping the water will wash it away. At the same time wishing the rain will bridge my longing to whoever listens to the cries of my wretched anima.

Anathema! I am forsaken!

2007-09-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

In a very untimely point of my

Life, I had you; the most precious gift
Of all any man could wish and dream for.
Victory it was seeing you came into this world. And my
Existence found a meaning in you.

You are my reflection, and no
One could replace my angel, my inspiration.
Until eternity, I will cloak you like a

Zealot, in this life and hereafter; for
You are my blood, my life;
From the day you saw light, ‘til it dims with time.

rainbow's edge

2007-09-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

In the midst of darkness I see no light
I burn like hell yet the sun is nowhere in sight
No beasts that roam, no birds in flight

Deep within the shadows, they lure me
Fool me with gold, wine and money
Wasting while others thrive in misery

Will this world be the same again?
A question I’ve been asking a million times
In different words and a handful of rhymes
Are we paving our way to the end?

What will we become after this demise?
Will we survive, live in paradise?
Where does the path we’re taking go?
Could it be at the end of the colorless rainbow?

paglalakbay

2007-09-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

isang araw na naman ang bumungad upang simulan
isang paglalakbay na 'di alam kung kayang malagpasan
ang mga naka-ambang pagsubok sa kabilang anyo ng mundong
malawak at makabago;ng magulong buhay at kulturang halu-halo

ito ay paglalakbay na nagnanais matunton
ang buong pagkatao, tunay na lakas, bulong ng puso
na ‘di naa-alintana ng dikta ng kapatagan
at ng kaugaliang nabahiran ng kasinungalingan
o ng batas ng tao na nilikha para ang buhay natin ay gawing marupok na masaya

ang paglalakbay upang makamtan ang mithing kapalaran
na ‘di pinapansin ang pangungutya ng mga bulag sa katotohanan
ang paglalakbay na pupukaw sa damdamin na ‘di lang tungkulin ang ipagtanggol ang natitira ngunit nakaukit sa tadhana na ibalik ang mga 'di na namulatang nilikha

nagawa sa loob ng maikling panahon ang ina-akalang masagana
ngunit milyong taon ang ginugol upang mailikha ang tunay na kahanga-hanga
itong paglalakbay ang magsasabi na ang tao ay di likas na loko-loko;
ngunit ang ginagawa natin ang nagbabahid sa ating anyo
ang kasakiman upang makamit ang karangyaan at kapangyarihan ang
nagdadala sa atin sa ating madugong katapusan.

A Realization

2007-09-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

A new day unfolds when we are about to partake
In a journey in which we’re not sure if we’ll make
It to the other side of this vast and modern world
Of busy lifestyle and diverse cultures;
definable by a handful of words
It is but a journey in which we chose to track
Our own identity, our own strength, our own desires;
without being distracted
By the influence of the lowland or by the norms of society
Or by any law created to make our life miserably happy
It is our journey to reach our goal no matter what people
May say that we are but fools who just make our lives;
more complicated more tiring, more crucial
A journey that unfolds that in our hearts it is not just our duty
to protect what was left but
It is destiny to try to bring back what was there beforehand
It took us decades to build what we believed was glory
Although in truth it took eons to create what was certifiably marvelous
In return we took quite a stand to appreciate as well as alleviate
The deteriorating status of our so-called habitat
A journey that will tell that what we are doing are inhumane
yet man by nature is not created insane
It is but the lust for power and luxury that made this world a living hell.

missing

2007-09-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

in utter silence
i thrive in misery
the longing of you;
a weakness engulfing
bare and trodden
petty mockery
the needing grows
a curse yet enchanting

the absence of you
is life drifting
i walk not in darkness
but in deceiving light
empty and barren;
i ought to be
striving but stagnant
a pitiful plight

i sob and i mourn
insanity at reach
my longing for you
is my longing indeed.

young one's cry

2007-09-17T22:58:00.000-07:00

Grazing in the concrete pavements
A new breed of cattle’s lurking the streets
Blazing into crowded uncertainty
A disease, sickened picture of society

High above the towers masters looking down
Counting all their profit from cattle’s on the ground
They cultivate the tarmac, planted iron trees
Building temporary shelters, rotten facilities

Out there in the shadows, wolves are rallying
Choosing their own targets, howls are deafening
They wanted to avoid it, tired of being predators
Yet somehow they have to attack with remorse

The masters seem not worried, doesn’t even care
He let the hungry predators take some to their lair
He hears the cattle shouting, the screams consume the air
Yet the master paid no attention, he’s got a lot of spare

Now the tarmacs cold and bloody stench of flesh abound
Vultures gather scavenging around
Remaining herds rush for shelter, knocking for mercy
But the masters turn their back, blinded by hypocrisy

When will the running end, cried the younger one
Will these go on tomorrow, after the day I’m gone
Will my children suffer the same fate, the way we do right now
Can we not find a way, to put a halt somehow?